Here is are some quirks I have with bath and kitchen products: I will fill up the shampoo and conditioner bottles with water when they get empty to stretch their use. Ditto for dish-washing soap. I have been known to slice open plastic bottles of lotion and hair product because there is still so much in there that won’t come out any other way. It feels sinful to buy doubles of these items until I absolutely have to. I can hate that new brand of shampoo but I force myself to use it until it is gone. I would like to tell you that I do this to save money, to stretch a dollar, a penny saved is a penny earned and all that. That is not why I do it; even though I have fooled myself for many years into thinking that is the reason.

I do it so that I will have money to buy smell-good things. Oh, and things for my feet. I know this because while I have one bottle of shampoo that I am not crazy about, one bottle of conditioner that I love, and am currently using Oil of Olay face moisturizer as body lotion; I have at least eight bottles of perfume on my dresser (and two in the console of my car) that I use depending on how I “feel” that day. I have every product that has ever claimed to soften a bad heel that I struggle with. I don’t paint my fingernails and don’t remember the last time I had a manicure but I MUST have my feet done.

I pride myself on stretching some products past the point where anyone else would toss them, but I don’t have any problem throwing down $6 for a small round of soap from Lush because it smells divine. I have been known to spend ridiculous amounts of money on that perfect candle that I can only find at Stein Mart.  Scented oils? YES! YES! In my perfect world, I would have a maid who would clean the tub after I sat in a Bergamot scented oil bath.

As I write, it occurs to me that perhaps I was an Egyptian Queen in a past life, or maybe a concubine in a Turkish harem, or maybe just French.

About rolling my eyes at the world

Gulf Coast Summer Loving, 50ish, Unapologetic Yellow Dog Democrat
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6 Responses to WAS I A CONCUBINE?

  1. I’d go with being French. Just sayin’.

  2. But concubine sounds like more fun and is certainly more fun to say, especially with my Deep South accent. It sounds like this: Conk’-you-bine.

  3. mango girl says:

    I just had a different idea of what the story would be based on the title. I too must be a conk’-you-bine.

  4. What’s wrong with your natural body scent? When it comes to the crunch, a man needs to smell your pheromones.

  5. I highly suspect that I produce no pheromones. I am basing this on the fact that I can be the only woman in a room full of men and they do not appear to know I am there.

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